One day I was with one of my more "Urban" Girl Scout groups, a bunch of 4/5th graders and I spoke to them nicely, did not raise my voice and just was kind to them something they were not used to. But they were being so loud and doing their own thing and I began to get more stern. But then a hall monitor came in loud and putting them in "check" and they got quiet but out of fear. I asked them, "Is that how I need for you all to listen? Be loud and mean or speak to you nicely?" They said, "No, NICELY" I then realized they loved being with me because I was calm and sweet and gentle something they needed but was not used to. So I began to love on them a little bit more when they wanted hugs I gave them hugs, when they wanted to talk I let them talk and I listened.
Now ladies, we have become a loud, angry, violent type of women and it has come from so many issues that we have been through and our parents have been through that we keep trying to adapt to this crazy world. Thing about it we are to live in the world not be of it (John 15:19) that is where we are struggling because we want the world to love us because we love it. 1 John 2:15-17 says, If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
Why can't we be a gentle woman speaking with kindness, showing love and mercy? I will let you know that the most loud, angry women heavily portrayed in the media is of black women, I see it on videos and even in real life. I am not trying to single any race out that is what I see and what the world sees and people laugh. It is so sad to me. I live in Minnesota, born and raised and seen really old married black couples and very few YOUNG married. Why is that? I went to college in Marshall, MN and saw so many young married white couples and serious relationships. I saw the black football players as just that, "PLAYERS" but they weren't with the black girls, they were with the white girls. A few black guys said they don't like all that loud attitude black girls give and I was like dang.... But oh well. Just earlier I was watching a couple videos people posted on FB of black girls LOUD AND FIGHTING... and the guys just sat around laughing.
I remember one thing my husband said while we were dating and even in marriage he needed peace in the home. Peace not meaning quiet but peace as in serene a place of retreat, a place to be revived and rejuvenated. A place where he WANTED to come home, a place to escape the madness of the world. And why shouldn't he be allowed that? I know I want it! Did you read that story at the top? How the sun won with gentleness? I am telling you, you could get a lot of what you want with being gentle.
If you are seeking to get married or need a more peaceful place at home in the marriage you have, just remember that men, the real ones, the ones that want to make YOU THE ONE, want and need a wife to be gentle. Gentle with her words and actions. Here are some scriptures to prove it:
- Proverbs 19:13 ...and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. (Contentions: heated disagreement, quarreling)
- Proverbs 21:9 Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
- Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a tent in the wild than with a cross and petulant spouse. (The Message Bible)
- Well Proverbs 25:15 says, Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone
- And, Proverbs 15: 1 says, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
- It also says that it is UNFADING BEAUTY, "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:4
- It is also one of the fruits of the Spirit, Galatians 5:23.
If we are Christians that means we are to being walking like Christ, Christ said, Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matt 11:29)
Be like Christ, be gentle to those around you, they need the peace, they need rest for their souls. Our men had a long, tough day at work be gentle. Our children was bullied or yelled at, be gentle. Your friends and family are going through a tough time, be gentle... Be gentle to all (2 Tim 2:24).
I dare you to practice this, you will change your atmosphere for better!
Peace and Blessings,